HOW TO REFRAME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND FEEL BETTER INSTANTLY
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Last Friday evening I was sat on my sofa and I felt something I’ve not felt for a long time. I didn’t want to read, I didn’t want to watch anything. I actually didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was bored! Then I started feeling sorry for myself, sat at home on my own on a Friday night with nothing to do. I started looking through my phone, wondering who I could call but instead of dialling anyone I actually began decluttering my contacts (yes, I really WAS bored!), getting rid of random names that had been added on nights out over the years, work people I no longer worked with and a few that I really had no clue who on earth they were. As the list got smaller, I started to feel lonely, thinking how great it must be to have a big group of friends to go out with, to have people round all the time, to always have something to do or somewhere to be.
“I was choosing to feel down about things I know in reality would actually cause me anxiety.”
Then I caught myself. Even if I had lots of friends, would I actually want to be out right now? Highly unlikely. Would I want a constant stream of visitors at home? Probably not. Would I enjoy always being at the mercy of other people’s plans? Most definitely not.
I was choosing to feel down about things I know in reality would actually cause me anxiety and so, remembering a lesson from Gabby Bernstein’s book, Super Attractor - Methods For Manifesting A Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, I chose again.
I began reframing my negative thoughts, flipping them on their head to see the positive side. I thought about how many parents would give their eye teeth for an evening of peace and quiet. How many people living in flat shares would actually relish the opportunity for an entire evening to themselves? How many couples would prefer to stay home and snuggle up on the sofa rather than go to Janet-from-work’s leaving do?
I immediately began to smile and feel immensely grateful. For the silence, for not having anything to do or anywhere to be. Most of all I felt grateful that I am living my life on my terms. We are all the creators of our own reality so if things aren’t going how you want them to you have the option to choose again. Our negative thoughts are often fears. Once we are aware of them we can then turn them upside down to see and appreciate the positive. For example, when then bills go up, as they inevitably do, instead of denouncing them, appreciate that you have hot running water, a warm home and someone who collects your rubbish.
Being stuck in traffic is a great opportunity to practice this. It took me almost two hours to drive the 12 miles home from work the other day. But instead of getting annoyed I chose to be grateful for the fact that I have a car to drive, rather than having to rely on public transport, and that I got to listen to a full podcast in comfort. It made the journey much less painful.
Reframing negative thoughts into positive ones lifts us out of fear and scarcity and raises our vibration to a frequency of love and abundance meaning we’re able to attract more of the same. Remember - what you appreciate, appreciates.
Every situation has light and dark, it’s up to you which one you choose to focus on.
Kx